Saturday, April 24, 2004

The Prize

A couple months ago, I entered a contest and ended up winning

a few acres of swamp land below the flood plane in Mississippi.

Before I knew it, right after that I won a $250,000 house, so

naturally I built it on my new land.

Last week, I won enough money in the lottery to quit my job

and move down there for good.

And just last night, as sat on my new porch watching the rain

and listening to the thunder, it all started to sink in.

By way of AndyChaps "The Funnies" To Subscribe send a blank email to

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

Minister Drive By

Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local
tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long
look at their pickup trucks parked outside.

One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us
or recognize my pickup."

The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God
knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts."

The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife."

Sunday, April 04, 2004

Sin Is Like Shopping with a $1 Million Bill

When I heard about Alice Pike's arrest, two questions came to mind. Alice is the woman who tried to pay for her Wal-Mart purchases with a $1 million bill. My two questions: "There isn't really a $1 million bill, is there?" and, "What was she thinking?"

The answer to the first question is no, silly. The U.S. Treasury doesn't make a bank note with that many zeros. I don't know how high they do go, but thanks to Alice, nobody is going to con me on the million dollar one now. As far as what Alice was thinking, I don't believe she was.

Alice went to the register with $1,675 worth of stuff. What is amazing is that she expected change. Math is not my strong suit, but by my calculation, that's a lot of change. Was Alice really expecting that the cashier not only would, but actually could, hand over $998,325.00? Did she envision the cashier on the loudspeaker saying, "We need 10's and 20's on aisle 5?" Did she even bring a vehicle big enough to handle her purchases and the mountain of change?

Alice helps remind us of the irrationality of sin. Most sin doesn't make sense. We lie and expect good results. We overindulge in food or alcohol or entertainment and expect to feel better. We take what isn't ours and expect satisfaction. We refuse to resist temptation and expect peace. We act selfishly and expect stronger relationships. We ignore repentance and expect forgiveness. We hand over a fake and expect change.