Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Church Stories

The Season of Advent was beginning, and I wanted to inform the
children that, according the Bible, Jesus is coming twice, once as
the baby in the manger, and then as King. So I asked the children,
"How did Jesus come the first time?" Ryan answered, "Down the
chimney."

*****
Years ago the safe in our church chapel was used to keep the Sunday
offering. One night, thieves broke into the chapel and tried to open
the safe. You can still see the marks on the door, and the knob to
the safe is broken off. After hours of pounding with a sledge hammer
and chisel, the burglars couldn't open the safe, so they left. The
irony is they didn't look around. Whoever had custody of the
offering money forgot to put it in the safe. It was sitting in plain
sight on the cabinet next to the safe.

*****

We have Assisted Listening Devices at our church for those who might
not be able to hear the service without them. A few weeks ago I
offered one to Mr. L. He told me that he didn't need one because he
had just bought a new hearing aid, and it cost him $4,000. I asked
him, "What kind is it?" He looked at his wrist and said, "About
10:55."

*****
Billy Graham visited a nursing home one day. He walked up to a
little old woman in a wheelchair she asked her, "Do you know who I
am?" "No, I don"t," she answered with a smile, "but, if you go over
to the office someone there will be able to help you."

*****
There is a scripture, "God loves a cheerful giver." The Greek work
for "cheerful" is hilaron. We get our English word "hilarious" from
it . Imagine that God loves a hilarious giver.

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