Monday, January 12, 2004

Forgiveness

When we sin or mess up, it takes us a while to come to God, but not necessarily for forgiveness. We probably ask for that not long after the act has occurred and the Holy Spirit has convicted us. Just like when we wrong another person, we feel the need to apologize over and over again and eventually, once a certain amount of time has passed or a certain number of apologies have been given, we feel the relationship is restored and things are back to normal.

Unfortunately we do this with God also. When we sin and ask for forgiveness, we still hold on to the fact that we messed up and it kills us that we aren't perfect. It hurts us deep down to know that we are wrong. Call it pride, call it whatever, but because of this, we feel unworthy to come to God.

"I can't pray anymore. I don't deserve to ask anything of Him. I am not a good servant for Him. I messed up" etc. And all the while God wants us to move on, we are still thinking about the fact that we were wrong and that we messed up. So we keep apologizing or asking for forgiveness until time has passed or WE feel God has forgiven us. Notice what I said: WE determine when we are forgiven. Isn't that a kicker.

We can't handle the fact that we messed up so to put us back in the driver's seat of our life, we control when we are forgiven by not coming to God when we should. Even though God is the One forgiving and we are the one asking, we somehow feel the need to determine when and where that forgiveness or restoration will take place. We are basically saying that, "I am not ready to let God help me move on yet. I will let Him restore our relationship when I feel it is time." But the problem is that that is not our decision to make.

We won't enter His presence or ask for something because of what we've done. We feel unworthy. That is our 2nd mistake.
Our 1st mistake was thinking that we were worthy in the first place, sin or no sin. We are no more worthy before sin than we are after we sin. God is perfect and we are not and we need to deal with that.

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